My Thoughts On Christmas Eve

It's snowing out, right now. It's almost as if I choreographed this, but I didn't. Fluffy flakes slowly falling down. What a difference a year makes. Last year my husband and I had no power. There was a wide spread outage in our area because of an ice storm. We didn't know how bad it was, and the message from the electric company kept on giving bogus times when the power would be restored. So, we stayed the night in a cold house. To add to our misery, a raccoon tried to bust into the basement window. We live on a country road. We had no idea that a pole had cracked in half and was laying down on the ground. We found out when we finally left and got breakfast in a truck stop--the only place open on Christmas Day.

So, I'm trying to remember this bad moment, and look at how much better it is this Christmas Eve. The loss of a head member of our family was a blow. But Barb's picture stands under my mini Christmas Tree in memory. I do believe in angels, and if anyone became an angel right away, it would have been Barb A. Bell. So, I think she was communicating to me last night. Noises kept waking me up. One was a tack that--I don't know how it fell, or where it fell from--fell against the waste basket. (I'm spending the nights in my office, remember.) So this had me up with lights on, thinking about animals trying to get into the house--a mouse maybe. But it was just a tack. I went back to bed.

This morning I was thinking about how things had been when I was a child. Our family had begun allowing "Santa" to leave presents on our front porch on Christmas Eve, and we'd hear him do so and rush to open up the door to see all the presents there. My brother is 4 years younger than myself, and we were what they call "a second family". We came years after my next older brother; there were 6 of us all together.

In my youth I would stare at the Christmas tree; all the decorations, lights, the tinsel and I would day dream.(Yesterday when we went to the antique store, the old decorations got me reminiscing--that's why Dennis and I love to go to antique stores so much--and I saw old led-based tinsel.) I was always a big day dreamer. I only realized well into my 40's that I was dyslexic and have ADD, so my ability to phase everything out and think about my books is why my creativity is so high. I can't cut this off easily, unless I'm doing something else with my brain. It was why factory jobs were jobs I went with, because I didn't have to think about what I was doing.

We're baking a ham and making scalloped potatoes and having Hawaiian rolls--the closest thing we've had that tastes like his mother's Swedish rolls. Later, we're watching A Wonderful Life tonight. You've gotta watch this movie, if you have never seen it before. The message is great.

The snow flakes have become bigger. My husband came in and invited me to look out the picture window. I told him about the noises last night. I told him it was his mother communicating to me. I can almost hear her voice, I knew her so well, and I know what she was saying: "Hey! I'm watching over you two, you silly girl. Quit worrying and get back to work (writing)."

So, with all these things whirling around in my head today, I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas. I think this is the time of year to reflect and tell each other how much we love and appreciate one another, that we're glad we have what we have, even if there isn't any presents under a tree. That isn't really the message, when you really think about it, is it?

My husband wants to go outside. Says he needs a sled to take the garbage out. Yes. One of those old Red Fliers they don't sell any more because they were deemed too dangerous with the runners on them. Bah humbug!

Snowflakes still falling. I think it will be a Wonderful Christmas.