Lost Kitten - Mother Cat Check In

It's been a trying week. I lost one of my kittens. I noticed when we came back from one of our excursions that it wasn't with us. I went back to find it. Now there are only four. Three are all gray tiger striped. My first born has long, thick fur black and white and his back legs are all white. It's embarrassing. But he's a good kitten, strong and smart. The one that's gone had white paws and white bib with the gray tiger stripes. Anyway, we go out into the woods. I want them to learn how to survive in the wild, like I was taught. I call to them and they know to come with me. But sometimes they dally. You know children. They want to play. Everything is a game to them. I don't think they realize anything can happen to them while we're out here. But they know to run when out in the open. It's a natural thing.

So, later on I went out that afternoon, trying to retrace my steps, listening for the faintest little mew. Of course the jays didn't help any. And my other kittens would rather jump around the tall grasses and play, or climb the tree. They were of no help. In fact they were a distraction to me. So, I decided I'd go out later. I searched everywhere, sniffing. No trace. No trace of anything. I fear a hawk took her. Sleek, low-flying hawks skim low to the ground, and you don't see them until it's too late. It happens. Few of my kittens don't usually survive a full year. Now that I have found a home where humans take care of us, give us water and food and shelter, the other four have a better chance.
Me? I am expecting again. With winter closing in this will be a tough few months.

[author's note: Tuesday the kitten, Mittens, came up missing, Wednesday mother cat went out for the afternoon and was gone for hours I presume trying to find her. Sadly she never was found.]