Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you... but it's still on my list.
Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
We never really grow up - we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify..." I answered "a doctor".
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they're sexy.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute if you skydive twice.
I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
The only thing missing was the drum doing one of those padum-pum at the end of each one.
Hope you have a good holiday weekend. Me? We've got fix-it guys in here putting in windows above my head (on second floor), but I needed to post this.