Saturday, February 11, 2012

To All New-Born Vampires: Correct Biting Positions


The correct feeding position for vampires.



Hi, Bjorn, here. Since the Powers That Be have returned us to the antiquated days of hunting humans, I knew it would be only a matter of time that we would begin making new vampires. *sigh*

So, I thought I would put this up so that all of you newbies out there are aware that there is a correct feeding posture and that when done properly, you get the best results.

When you approach your victim from behind you can get to that juicy jugular properly. If done from the front, it will feel awkward, and things can get messy if your fangs don't hit the vein just right. Also, biting from behind the victim saves your clothing from those messy stains that won't come out. I don't think you want to get your best shirt or suit blood-stained and have to pay through the nose for a cleaning, or have to burn the damned thing. I hate when I've ruined my best pair of jeans and shirt when... well, never mind.

Also, keep in mind blood stains on your clothing would bring undue attention to you as you leave the scene. I don't want to have to clean up after you. So get the job done right or I'll have to repremand you... and I'm not always kind.

Seeing that Valentines Day is just around the corner I didn't want to leave anyone out, including my newest turns, so Happy Valentines Day, in case I don't see you on Tuesday.

By the way, my new quarters are just about to open up and be ready to move into. P. M. me if you haven't gotten the coordinants.

Your Loving Sire,

Bjorn Tremayne

6 comments:

  1. Isn't he the lively one. Lol

    Enjoy your weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great. Now I have to worry about protecting my back from a vamp attack. Just when I thought I was safe you go and give newbies tips. So unfair.
    Great post.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, yes. Mr. Tremayne is rather lively for a vamp, Jen.

    Yes. Get the technique down and you won't have blood all over you, E.J., and remember to P.M. Mr. Tremayne about his new headquarters!

    Hey, sorry. He sort of took over my blog today, Mrs. z!

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  4. It isn't how big your fangs are, but how you bite!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yes, Christine. Like E.J. says, it's all in the technique. Do it right and you won't have a mess on your hands. (^;

    ReplyDelete

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