Saturday, September 10, 2011

Shattered Illusions

So, naturally with the first Campaign Challenge closed, I had a scene hit me this morning, and wrote it down. As always, I'm unable to stay within the guide-lines, I'm sort of like a Monet in that respect. That's why I wasn't willing to try this. Also, just a bit too busy.

So, since everyone has placed their entry into their blogs, I'm placing my over 200-word scene here. Hope you like it. Its actually from my fourth book. And for you who are becoming a fan of my master vampire, Vasyl; this is for you!

The door opened, Lonny ducked his blond- gray head in. “My lord. I have brought the offending one to you.”
Very well. You and your entourage have the right to stay and witness.”
Lonny nodded and then opened the door wider. He made a signal to someone out in the hallway. Two male vampires pushed Niki forward. Her blond hair a little mussed, her attire slightly askew as though they had had a little tussle with her.
This is Niki, my lord. This is the one who attacked Sabrina,” Lonny said.
Vasyl turned to me and I nodded that he was correct. He turned back to the others.
This is my woman. You attacked her; hurt her,” Vasyl said. “Why did you do this?”
But I didn't know she was yours. I thought she was—” Niki brought her hand up to her mouth, looking as though she could take back the words. It was too late.
You thought she was what?” he asked.
I thought she was Tremayne's human,” she went on, rushed. “I—we all heard that she attacked him with a dagger . . . in the heart. He—”
Vasyl put his hand up and looked back at Sabrina. “This is true?” he asked me.
The dagger went after him. It stabbed him in the heart. I had the Sanguine Team brought to him quickly, and they took him to tend to him. I also gave him an ounce of my blood so that he could heal faster. But that's all I did. I was told that I was exonerated by the N.A.V.A., and that I would not be hunted.”
But she has a bounty on her head by the Council!” Niki shouted over me, pointing. “They over-ride the Vampire Association. I was in full right to hunt her. The Human Hunting Ban was lifted!”
Vasyl put his hand up to stop her again. “I do not belong to the Vampire Association,” he said. “I do not abide by their laws, nor anyone else's laws. I go by my laws.”
Then, y-you're a rogue?” she asked, looking a little amazed.
He squinted at her. “A very old rogue who has done well for himself. But that is not what is in question here. You defied me,” he went on. “In doing so, you have shown defiance to me. Your defiance cannot go unpunished.”
Her frown hardened.
You will be banished from this house.” Vasyl lifted his eyes to take in Lonny. “You will send her out at dawn,” he advised. “She cannot be aided by another human in your community, and being that the sun will be soon up, your vampires, nor any other vampire can help her in any way. She is banished, and will have to find her own shelter and her own means.”
Lonny nodded and grasped Niki by the shoulders. “Come.”


  1. Very interesting Lorelei. Poor Sabrina, always being attacked.

  2. Yeah, poor Sabrina . . . but she has fun later with Vasyl, haha!

  3. It was a good scene, although I know next to nothing about vampire life.

  4. That's a pretty good scene. :D A moment of tenseness.

  5. Oooo I love this! It just oozes tension and I'm dying to know what happens to Niki.

  6. Richard, you need to get out more--uh--at night, of course!

  7. Thank you s.pencil. Tenseness makes a scene!

    Heather, you don't want to know! Hah!

  8. COOL! I couldn't make myself complete the challenge with everything else going on but I did write SOMETHING might need to finish it.

  9. Glad I'm not the only one who couldn't get this post done, and really, I didn't like the word cout restrictions! I don't like restrictions. I'm like a mustang and gotta run with it!

  10. Great tension and suspense... feels like a big storm, an epic struggle on the horizon. Will Niki make it? Will Vasyl be powerful enough against the Council? Will the association take sides?

  11. I've got the inside track on this one; she might not. I give her a 50/50% chance.

  12. It's a good scene. Poor girl!

    As for the 200 word restriction - to me, it's a way to learn to write concisely. You know, a way to figure out what can be cut from a story. It's why I do 100-word drabbles almost every Friday.

  13. Well, thats a good thing to learn. I tend to ramble. I do edit once I'm finished, but I couldn't do this because I had no time, #1, and because of word limit #2, and #3 HOLY COW OVER 300 PEOPLE put something up. I'm not very competative, so Na-ah.

  14. Good entry! I'm not familiar with the characters but this made me very interested in their world.

    Fellow group 18 Campaigner.

  15. Thanks C.M. I just wish I would have had the idea for it sooner, but it was too long, anyway.


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