Saturday, December 9, 2017

Warning To Men and... Women

It's nearly impossible to miss the many, many sexual harassment suits coming down on men in high positions, these days. The most recent one being Al Franken, D-Minnesota, the former "Saturday Night Live" comedian who went on to become a liberal U.S. senator. He made a point of speaking out that the President himself has been taped admitting to getting away with sexual assaults and Roy Moore has been accused of going after young teenage girls.

Thing is this is nothing new. It's only now that women feel empowered about coming out with the abuse/horror, and threats they've lived through at the hands of powerful men.

I can say I've had a few brushes with such in my life time.

I've been able to bury the fact I lived next to a child molester most of my life. I never let him touch me, he told me what he wanted to do, and I told him I'd scream. After which, he did give me some money. I should have extorted more, I think. Had I been a different person, I could have probably gotten him to pay me hush money for years.

Young women, and especially teens have no idea that a man paying them a complement, showing them some sort of attention, offering them money or a ride (RED FLAG), they may think he's a "nice guy", that he's "harmless". But you can't know what a man's real intentions are.

When I was in my twenties, I gave a young man a ride once. I didn't know him. When I stopped to let him out, he thought he could grope me. What the hell? I never gave him any indication I was a hooker.

All that I'm saying is you just don't know what the opposite sex is thinking when you give them the slightest nod, even if you think it's harmless.

I've seen certain things that go on where I work, during breaks. Women talking and joking with some of the men. I've seen them get chummy, giving hugs. I'm not one who hugs another man, only my husband. I think it's inappropriate. I think it gives a guy the idea that if he can hug you, he might be able to touch you elsewhere.

I speak from another experience when I made the mistake of giving a man I worked with false signals that maybe I was interested, when I wasn't. I'm married. I'm not interested in other men, other than being friends. It's sometimes hard to realize how far a guy might take things, if given the chance. This one man I knew at my workplace [who I'll just call Mr. X and no longer works with us, and has moved away (thankfully)]. He had a great personality, very loud, and joked a lot. I never hugged him or showed that I was interested, but we joked back and forth a lot. Sometimes the jokes were double entendre. When he moved, he came back into the area for a visit. Mr. X got on my bus, his usual boisterous self, and leaned toward me as if to give me a kiss on the lips. I have no idea where he thought that was something I'd welcome. I quickly moved my head away so that all his lips got were my cheek. I think that cooled Mr. X's heels for the remainder of his visit.

One more example. I was going steady with a man (not my husband), who invited me to his family's Christmas events. His grandfather was/had been a tax assessor. At this time he was restricted to a chair. Since I'd been accepted by the whole family, it was hugs all around. However, giving grandad a hug was a bit difficult, but I leaned down and his big hands went under my arm pits and thumbs went right to my ta-tahs. I was embarrassed about this. Kept it to myself, but I never gave him any more chances to touch me. I felt badly for his wife. Maybe she knew, maybe not. I'm sure I wasn't the only one who got such treatment from him.

Let's be clear. I'm not vilifying men. I think most are gentlemen and know how to keep their hands (and thoughts) to themselves.

However, it's the ones who take liberties that give men a bad name.


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