Saturday, March 27, 2010

Vlad The Impaler Is Alive and Well . . . sort of

You know I'm a push-over for strange news articles and this one really caught my eye when I went to one of my favorite spots for vampire news and I really wanted to share this one with you. This is true, and came from a real newspaper.

Headline from MIAMI"
"Vampire Diaries:Tampa Dracula Wants to Be Prez" (Story paraphrased with my individual snide comments and in the background chuckling all the while).

Tampa Vampire Johnathan “The Impaler” Sharkey is hoping to be voted in as the first vampire president in 2012. Just to up his chances, he switched his party affiliation from independent to Republican for his run for the Oval Office. (I'm sure this will help . . . but I think he needs to have Palen as his running mate.)

He has run for public office before, in Minnesota, where he ran for governor and the U.S. Senate seat in 2000.

Mr. Sharkey claims to be immortal.(Nope, not kidding. That's exactly what it said.)
And if his claim of immortality isn't bizarre enough to make your eyes roll out of your head, let's just see where he stands on some of the key issues, because this is where you get the votes.

He's definitely anti-abortion and in favor of marijuana legalization. He's very definitely for capital punishment, which would include impalements meted out by Sharkey himself.

I think he has a very good media relations plan. It certainly will shut people up and put us back into the dark ages. He calls it the “Vladimir Putin Media Relations Act.”

“If the media or anyone defames me, lies about me or tries to portray me in a negative way, I will have you arrested and brought before me to stand trial,” Sharkey claims on his Website. “Upon finding you guilty of your crime(s), I will personally cut out your lying tongue and nail it to your chin for the world to see what a liar you are! This Act will be grandfathered as far back as I decide I want it to be.
“If you royally piss me off, I will not only cut your lying tongues out, but I will beat, torture, IMPALE, dismember and decapitate you. Your head will be placed on display on the Front Lawn of The White House”.


Wow. Just got a visual of people impaled on the White House lawn.

Since he's gone to the Republican side, I'm definitely not voting for him (as if it would make a difference).

But I was speaking to a friend of mine the other day and he told me that the FEC (Federal Election Committee) has it so that it is very hard for just anyone to actually get their name on a presidential ticket. Sharkey has tried to run for public office in Minnesota, where he ran for governor and the U.S. senate back in 2000--and lost.

Now he lives in Florida. Maybe he traded the dark winter nights for the sunshine state in order to get a tan? Not sure. I'm not going to go into the leagle trouble he's been in, but considering that he's been in trouble with the law, I'm thinking that might go against him too. You know how people are about your past when it comes to public office.

Really too bad, because I'd give anything to see a debate between him and Palen, I'm sure that would be quite a show.

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