Saturday, April 2, 2011

Anti-Cruelty To Vampries: The Newby's Guid to Being a Vampire's Date



Okay, so you've met your hot vampire, and have made plans for him/her to come home with you after a date. You're nervous. You're wondering how the night will go, and what you need to know about vampires in general.



Well, there's a few things that you must be aware of, and also to prepare for your special night-time visitor. After all, you've got a vampire, and they are a bit different from the regular folk you're used to dating.



First of all make sure you have put all religious symbols away—including not wearing a crucifixes yourself. Doing so might just insult or infuriate them. You don't want them to vanish, after all, you've gone to so much trouble, and have taken the first steps, so make sure your house is vampire friendly.



No need to put away or cover any mirrors, however. Vampires do have a reflection, and don't mind them at all.



Also, please know ahead of time if you plan on being their blood host or not. If not, you'd better have a bottle or two of their favorite drink around for your guest, and can be purchased at Tremayne's Outlets and on-line. Warm the bottle in the microwave. Thirty seconds usually is best. A nice way to present it is a wine glass and the bottle on a tray. Allow the vampire to choose if they want to drink from the bottle, or have it in the glass. Be aware, however that if you pour it for them, it shows them that you are fully prepared to be a willing host, and thus your pouring the blood for them, indicates you intend to go “all the way” with them.



If the visit is merely social, do not shake the vampire's hand, or he/she will assume that this is all about touchy-feely. Again, don't presume that the vampire is not going to give in to his nature, simply because he/she acts quite charming and docile. A vampire can put a whammy on you faster than you can count their fangs. Make sure you know the rules of vampire etiquette before hand. Looking straight into a vampire's eyes will invite them to put a thrall on you. So, unless this is more than a social visit, and you fully plan on giving yourself to your vampire, make sure and lower your eyes to some other point on their face, don't touch them, and also don't allow them to walk behind you. Allowing a vampire to walk behind you would be the third indication that you don't mind being hunted.



Remember that vampires were once human too. And they usually have memories of that life before. If they feel comfortable with talking about their human life, then allow them to talk about it, but whatever you do, don't push them into explaining how they had been turned. Unless they bring it up themselves, that is.



If you plan on having your vampire guest stay the night, make sure he/she will have a dark place to stay during the day while you are out. Most vampires do need to sleep—some more than others—and you will need to prepare a room that either is windowless, or where you have thoroughly blocked out all light and especially sunlight from coming through. And yes, they prefer sleeping in beds.



So, good luck and have fun. Remember to be a responsible vampire host!

3 comments:

  1. You put my vampire boyfriend's picture up. That was nice of you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm bookmarking this for my next vampire date. ;) Awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  3. But of course, Jen, I was thinking of you when I put up gorgious hunk's pic up.

    Heather, good luck on the date, and keep us posted lol!

    ReplyDelete

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